The middle-class dinner party flashpoint dividing everyone I know

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Her straight-down-the-line response to this sticky dilemma is nothing short of inspirational. Most are too polite to talk about this, let alone deal with it head-on, but what…

You know a situation has become over-complicated when you’re grateful for someone being direct to the point of rudeness. Round at a friend’s house for dinner this week, we’d had a lovely evening – great food, chat, ambience – when the host suddenly made an announcement.

“Right, you’ll have to go in five minutes,” she told us, “I need to be up early.”

Luckily we have all been friends for ever, know her well, and this is far from the first time she’s said something with her whole chest, so it was taken very much in the spirit in which it was intended. Nobody was offended – if anything, we were grateful for such clear instructions and tempted to take notes.

Her straight-down-the-line response to this sticky dilemma is nothing short of inspirational. Most are too polite to talk about this, let alone deal with it head-on, but what we’re nervously dancing around is the middle-class dinner party flashpoint dividing everyone I know.

When you’ve wowed your guests with your tablescape, sparkling repartee and a meal Ottolenghi himself would be proud of (probably because it’s from one of his cookbooks), how do you gently convey to them that they’re in serious danger of outstaying their welcome? Just coming out and saying it like my maverick friend did is a risky move, which can only be executed in very certain circumstances. How do the rest of us tell people it’s time to go, without telling them it’s time to go?

This quandary is apparently the great leveller, because even Vic and Dave struggle with it.

“You know what happens in the Beckham house when David wants people to leave?” Victoria said, recently. “He literally walks around the room blowing out the candles hoping that people will get the hint!”

Other strategies I’ve seen discussed are beginning to load the dishwasher, or even start washing up, which was described by the perpetrator as “the universal sign for ‘bye now!’” Simply stopping refilling glasses can be effective, although unfortunately past a certain lubrication level…

M…

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