Study Reveals What Really Makes Someone Kind—and It’s Not What You Think

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The study, led by Ohio State University and published in the International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology, examined how people distinguish between acts they consider…

Does a good deed matter less if the giver enjoys it, gains recognition from it or gets something in return? Some people may have thought so, but new research suggests that those concerns are misplaced, with participants generally valuing acts of kindness regardless of whether they are entirely selfless.

The study, led by Ohio State University and published in the International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology, examined how people distinguish between acts they consider “kind,” “nice” and “caring.”

“The findings let us off the hook,” Alexia Holovatyk, a licensed clinical psychologist with more than 12 years of experience in relationship dynamics, told Newsweek. “Many people hold back from doing something kind because they worry it isn’t ‘pure’ enough, maybe they’ll feel good doing it, or it’ll look good, but this study suggests the people on the receiving end don’t care about that.”

The study found that “kind” and “nice” are largely interchangeable to most, while “caring” carries a higher threshold and greater meaning. Still, across all three descriptions, actions were viewed most favorably when they were warm, planned and not already expected of the person performing them.

Jennifer Cheavens, the professor of clinical psychology who led the research, began thinking about the issue after discussions with students in her positive psychology seminar. She often uses a 1998 episode of Friends in which Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) attempts to prove Joey (Matt LeBlanc) wrong after he argues there are no truly selfless good deeds because doing good also makes the giver feel good.

Her students took the discussion further, suggesting that motivation could determine whether something should be considered “nice” or “kind.”

She took the ethical dilemma to Laura Wagner, a developmental psychology professor and linguist who directs the university's Language Sciences Research Lab.

For what the researchers describe as the largest study of its kind to date, they then created 14 short vignettes…

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