Steph has five kids. She feels accused of pushing a ‘dangerous agenda’

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Australian women are increasingly choosing to go child free. Some women say modern expectations of motherhood are pushing women 'beyond capacity'.

To Stephanie Bastiaan, a mother of five with another on the way, the "messaging" around motherhood can be a tricky balancing act. Bastiaan recently said in the latest Feed debate that some women can now feel shamed for taking on traditional female roles in a nuclear family setting.

"The messaging through the media and in some parts of feminism is that women who do choose to embrace traditional gender roles are somehow pushing a dangerous agenda that sets women back," the 35-year-old said.

"Inherently, there are women who want to embrace that feminine gender role and that's not a thing to demonise women about ... What I'd like to see the conversation go to is choice."

Bastiaan, the head of advocacy at conservative think tank Women's Forum Australia, says that even though gender roles in parenting have "evolved for the better" over time, with men becoming more involved parents, women can feel like they're "letting the team down" when they choose to be stay-at-home parents.

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While Viva Hammer, a research fellow at the ANU Crawford School of Policy, told The Feed the word 'demonise' is extreme, she has interviewed over a hundred mothers with large families and says "there's always a tension" between the perceived value of a woman's labour at home and the value of her labour in the workforce.

"I don't think that you find many women today who don't feel some kind of tension between those choices — and that tension is exacerbated and brought to the fore with women with large families," Hammer said.

According to the latest data from the federal government's Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia Survey, 14 per cent of women and 15 per cent of men report they do not want children.

As more Australians choose to go child-free and Australia's fertility rate continues to dive to historic lows, is this tension playing a role in some women's…

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