[Two Pronged] Worried my son is getting gym-obsessed because his dad came back

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Is our letter sender worried her son is going to the gym too much? Or more concerned about her son's newly-kindled relationship with his absent dad?

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Rappler’s People section runs an advice column by couple Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr. Margarita Holmes.

Jeremy has a master’s degree in law from Oxford University. A banker of 37 years who worked in three continents, he has been training with Dr. Holmes for the last 10 years as co-lecturer and, occasionally, as co-therapist, especially with clients whose financial concerns intrude into their daily lives.

Together, they have written two books: Love Triangles: Understanding the Macho-Mistress Mentality and Imported Love: Filipino-Foreign Liaisons.

I am the mother of a 14-year old boy, “Percy,” my unico hijo and the reason I wake up in the morning. From the time he was born to now, he has been the biggest blessing in my life. I was a single mother and had no problem with that until his father Ahron came back into our lives (HIS life, really, but this affects me too). Anything that has to do with him, of course, has to do with me because he is my son and I have sole responsibility for him.

I was ok when Ahron first showed up because every boy needs a male role model and before his father, Percy never really had one. When Ahron started coming regularly, every Saturday afternoon (after lunch and before dinner which I notice I still had to take care of) to take his son out. But then, Ahron wanted to come every Wednesday afternoon too! I wanted to fight him in court but again, Percy was so happy to see him more often so I relented.

But I realized that Percy was changing. I found out that they always go to Ahron’s gym on Saturday, and now even every Wednesday!!! Ahron is a body builder, and has gotten my son “hooked.” Now Ahron’s friends are HIS friends too. But I also see that Percy, who used to be a loner, now has two friends who enjoy being with him when Ahron takes them all out to the gym.

True, these two friends are not the most popular boys in his class.

Everybody says I am a worrywart…

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